Being fair in an unfair world

Source: Wix

Life, as we come across, is a series of ups and downs. Even though people say it all happens due to karma, most of the time it does not seem so. Life can feel uncertain and full of unfairness at times. Whether it is losing a loved one too early, facing discrimination and hardship even after toiling a lot, losing an opportunity, whereas someone less likely to get it gets the chance, and so on. The list is endless. How do we find meaning and purpose to continue on our path despite it being full of challenges? Nevertheless, it is crucial to never give up and continue our path with motivation.

One of the most important things to recognize is that everything that happens in life is not in our control. Some things are in our control, for example how we choose to respond to circumstances, and we should do so in all fairness. There is no point in being unfair just because you faced some unfairness. The main thing to understand is even if u do everything right, unfairness will still creep up into your life because it is a part and parcel of life. At times, it might feel like it is a personal unfair situation, but it can be a general situation also, something which a lot of people face. So, you are not alone in it. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are doing something wrong, or you are ineligible for a few things in life.

Another point to remember is that we do not need to accept injustice when facing it and remain passive. Rather, if you are facing injustice and have an opportunity to do something about it then definitely do something about it. But the most important thing is not to let it affect you emotionally in a destructive way which can hamper your mental peace, health, and happiness.

So, how do we deal with unfairness?

• Respond instead of reacting: When we face some unfairness, we often get reactive instead of just responding. It is okay to feel angry, sad, and frustrated when things don’t seem fair, but you don’t need to act on them. Take a moment to process the feelings and acknowledge them. Responding to it is completely in your control. You need to focus on what you can learn from this experience. For example, if you feel overlooked at work focus on improving your skillsets and seek out new growth opportunities which can lead to more fulfillment instead of seeking other's validation. Remember who you are.

• Skip comparisons: One of the main causes of worry and feelings of unfairness lies in people comparing their lives with others. Let go of comparisons. The things that you see in others are what they want to show you. It isn’t necessarily all rosy pictured like how it is seen, you do not get to see them in their pain and suffering. Instead of focusing on others, focus on yourself. Focus on your journey, and how far you have come. Be proud of your journey, see how unique it is.

• Practice gratitude: Always make it a priority to be grateful for everything you have in life. It can be as simple as being grateful for the air we breathe. Having a gratitude journal helps. Before sleeping every night try to think of three things that made you happy. Let go of bitterness and try to be as innocent as when you were born.

• Mindfulness, prayer and spirituality: If you have the affinity towards spirituality please offer prayers daily. Do not seek support from the higher power only when in need, instead make it a daily practice to connect with higher power every day. Mindfulness practices like meditation can help you become resilient and help you bring more clarity of mind.  

• Seeking support from others: It is not necessarily needed for you to face everything alone. Reach out to your best friends if things are affecting you badly. Take help when needed. Sometimes taking their take on the situation might make you see some different perspective which you were not able to see yourself.

Finally, the most important thing is never to take that unfairness and lash out at others or make it unfair to others. Just because you faced some unfairness, it doesn’t necessarily need to make you so bitter that you stop being fair. Learn from your circumstance and see how you can help others avoid such a situation. It is important to build a resilient mentality and hope for the best. Things always change for the better when you least expect it. Believe in yourself and believe that goodness will find you eventually.